There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
