About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
