Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
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I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
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Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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