sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize