You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
