just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
