watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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