from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
