TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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