Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize