I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour