called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize