You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
