Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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