Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
