the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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