Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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