my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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