I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize