Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
