I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
