it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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