I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
