worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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