Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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