My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I need to align my fucking chakras
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
