thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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