It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
