I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You were trust falling into bushes
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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