She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We have started to decorate penises.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
