She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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