I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
