I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize