I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize