I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Randomize
