Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
