Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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