No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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