did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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