so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize