She kept screaming "best case scenario"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
