whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
