I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize