he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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