Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
