i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
if only i could text you this smell
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
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