i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
