For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
