I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
