I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
