I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
