I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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