the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
This house was built for laser tag.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
