I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
