Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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