I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
