I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize