do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
