what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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