my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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